Moment In Time
by chelzischmidt
Summary: Kendall and James are meant for each other, but something must always get in the way. Something must always destroy their love. And this is one moment in time with Kendall that James wished never happened.


**Title: Moment In Time**

**Summary: Kendall and James are meant for each other, but something must always get in the way. Something must always destroy their love. And this is one moment in time with Kendall that James wished never happened. **

**I think I'm getting the most random ideas for stories now. Wow. Anyways, you know how in stories the song is based on the story? Well this time it's the other way around. It's a song fic and the story is based on the song. Makes sense? Yeah :D**

**Song Used: Moments by One Direction (I love this song so much. You should listen to it if you don't know it)**

It was James, it was _always_ James.

No matter what people said or what people said it was always James.

And they _knew_ it was always James.

James was the one Kendall always talked about and James was the one Kendall was always with. Even if Logan was Kendall's first best friend. Even if they were literally born in rooms next to each other at the hospital.

_It was always James._

James was his first love and his first boyfriend.

That's why Kendall is confused when his father comes into his room one day, looking remorseful, saying that he has something to tell Kendall. Something important, something that he says he regretted doing.

There are tears in his eyes and Kendall is immediately concerned. He asks his father what is wrong, but the man can't even meet his eyes.

He tells Kendall that when Kendall and Logan were born, they were engaged, it was arranged marriage because the families thought they were perfect for each other.

Kendall doesn't react as soon as he said it; he just sits there, staring confusedly at his father, then it hits him.

He and Logan were engaged.

He and Logan were fucking engaged.

Before he could even fucking speak.

Before he fucking knew his dick from his hand.

Then Kendall reacts as expected. He shouts at his father for being such an idiot, for trying to rule his life before it even started. He asks him desperately if there is anything, _anyone_ who could cancel the engagement. But his father says no, that Logan's family are Indian descendants and once their children got engaged, that was it.

So he storms out of the room, and rushes over to James', who lives across from him, crying like an idiot. He pounds on the door, and when Mrs. Diamond answers, he just pushes past her, and runs upstairs.

Because he is angry, hurt, confused, sad, worried, and _not in love with Logan._

As much as he wants James to comfort him, he realizes that he didn't want to destroy his relationship with James just yet. So he wipes his tears and enters the room.

James looks up as Kendall enters the room, he's just been day-dreaming about the blond, about the things they could do if they get some alone time.

_Shut the door_

_Turn the light off_

_I wanna be with you_

_I wanna feel your love_

And sure, Kendall wants James to comfort him, but he keeps his tears away and forces a smile onto his face, making an instant decision that he'll tell the brunet afterwards. But he wants James to hold him so bad, to comfort him so bad, and to pull him close.

_I wanna lay beside you_

_I cannot hide this_

_Even though I try_

James brings him closer, and he tries to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall, as he folds into James' body, but it is impossible as he sobs into James' shirt front.

_Heart beats harder_

_Time escapes me_

_Trembling hands_

_Touch skin_

_It makes this harder_

_And the tears stream down my face_

If only, Kendall thinks, if only he could go back in time and change this entire situation, if only he could've had one more day with James, just one more day without knowing that his entire future with James is doomed.

_If we could only have this life_

_For one more day_

_If we could only turn back time_

James still doesn't know what's wrong, but he pulls Kendall closer, tells him that he means everything, the world to him, and without him, James didn't know if he'd still be alive.

_You know I'll be_

_Your life_

_Your voice_

_Your reason to be_

And Kendall tells him. He wanted to keep it for a while, but he just cracked. Everything pours out and James is speechless. He wants to touch Kendall, but he's afraid that it might be the last time.

And then he realizes that he's never told Kendall he loves him. Sure, Kendall's said it a lot of times, but James was always waiting for the perfect moment. And now it was gone. Even if he did say it, Kendall wasn't his anymore. He _never_ was his. Still, James wants to say it so bad, it's on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it.

_My love_

_My heart_

_Is breathing for this_

_Moment_

_In time_

_I'll find the words to say_

_Before you leave me today_

Kendall looks up at him with tear-filled eyes, saying that maybe they should run away; maybe they should close this door in their life, never to be seen again. But James knows that it is wrong, where would they get the money, how would they live?

_Close the door_

_Throw the key_

_Don't wanna be reminded_

_Don't wanna be seen_

Even with all these doubts, James is tempted to grab Kendall and steal away into the night. He looks so beautiful, even with tears in his pretty eyes.

_Don't wanna be without you_

_My judgments clouded_

_Like tonight's sky_

Kendall reaches out to James, but the taller one moves out of reach, knowing that if he touches Kendall, he'll never let him go. Kendall's pleading with him, through his eyes, but James looks away, instead resisting the urge to stomp across the road and yell at Mr. Knight.

Then, realizing he's really losing Kendall, tears fall, because their 'something' was now nothing.

_Hands are silent_

_Voice is numb_

_Try to scream out my lungs_

_It makes this harder_

_And the tears stream down my face_

Now James remembers everything he and Kendall have been through, even since they were young. All the times together, all those special moments.

_Flashing lights in my mind_

_Going back to the time_

_Playing games in the street_

_Kicking balls with my feet_

And then there were the other times, the times when he and Kendall were together, and the times when he was falling for the blond. There were the times he and Kendall were alone, and times when he and Kendall made jokes about their love for each other. Their perfect love for each other.

_There's a numb in my toes_

_Standing close to the edge_

_There's a pile of my clothes_

_At the end of your bed_

_As I feel myself fall_

_Make a joke of it all_

James takes a deep breath and smiles sadly at Kendall. There's nothing that can be done. And, knowing that it wasn't going to help their current situation, he tells Kendall that he loves him, he quotes that stupid phrase 'if you love something, let it go, and if it's meant to be it'll come back.'

Then James realizes it's not so stupid after all. Now his entire life is depending on that quote.

He can't take Kendall's terrible sobbing and pleading. It's torturous as Kendall splutters out how much he loves him.

_You know I'll be_

_Your life_

_Your voice_

_Your reason to be_

_My love_

_My heart_

_Is breathing for this_

_Moment_

_In time_

_I'll find the words to say_

James tells him that he's happy for him and Logan, that he should give Logan a fighting chance. James is trying to be strong, for him and for Kendall. He has the utmost respect for Logan, he's almost a brother.

So with a kiss to his forehead, he whispers to Kendall that he loves him once more, then gently pushes Kendall out of the room, and locks the door behind him, slumping against it.

_Before you leave me today._

__**Wow. Sad, huh? Supposed to be kind of like Can I Have This Dance? but not like it... **

**So please review :D It will make me sooo filled with joy! I'll even do a leprechaun dance XD**

**Love, ChelziXD**


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